"You may or may not have heard of a band called Paramore. Ordinarily, the way I listen to music wouldn’t put me in range of this sort of thing. I’m being purposefully vague because I don’t even know what this sort of thing is called now. It may be a word that ends in "core."
They have a song called "crushcrushcrush" that I honestly hate. In recent years I’ve allowed popular music to set up dingy hovels in the periphery of my affection - but this song is an act of monstrous evil, a blood ritual to awaken some mercifully forgotten demon prince. The lyrics are beyond incoherent, a dreadlock of oily nonsense that is either the result of schizophrenia, multiple authorship, or collated from multiple failed songs and compressed into some tar lozenge of epic failure.
Lord knows what pharmaceutical phalanx keeps this woman’s shrieking psychic legions bridled. If the two of you should meet and hit it off - perhaps at an extreme sporting event - I wouldn’t consider her a long term proposition unless your health plan has a very reasonable co-pay.
I would never have heard the song if it weren’t for the new store they added to Rock Band. From time to time, they offer tracks for a dollar - presumably these are subsidized, promotional offerings. A dollar would be an incredible buy for two guitar parts, but when you add vocals and drums there’s almost no song that isn’t worth a dollar. I resent it, but I also appreciate the manifold cleverness of it. Somehow, as an avowed sonic gourmet, I’ve been tricked into purchasing top forty radio "hitz.""
21 Comments
jimmyheartcore said 6 months ago
May I say, I effing hate it when people say "You may or may not ... something something."
No shit.
Really, the "may" implies the "may not".
And ... I generally take music reviews by World of Warcraft enthusiasts with a grain of salt.
Aniast said 6 months ago
They are pretty much nerds. I just think his word choice is pretty hilarious.
jimmyheartcore said 6 months ago
It is my contention that he approaches the album in a juvenile manner - without any consistent argument or a real development of discourse within his synopsis.
Basically, the douche just sits with a thesaurus open, whining and using big words.
Stfu.
derekdeal said 6 months ago
gabe’s comics > tycho’s diatribes
Aniast said 6 months ago
+1 I check regularly for the comic.
Hybrid said 6 months ago
I used to play WoW...
And I always keep up to date on my concerts.
While I was playing WoW, I was going to 15-20 concerts a year.
Aniast said 6 months ago
If the Stfu was directed at me please read:
I love hostility when people don’t agree, because you sir are obviously always right.
If not, just ignore me.
jimmyheartcore said 6 months ago
It was directed at Penny Arcade.
But everyone is always right.
Except for him.
Aniast said 6 months ago
That’s cool then. It would have been kind of fun to have a flame war though. I’m fueled by rage today.
quakerninja said 6 months ago
I’m pretty sure it’s called Corecore. or Applecore.
andrE w. said 6 months ago
an avowed sonic gourmet? what, i dont like paramor alittle bit, but this review sucked.
it didnt even sound directed at you, wtf?
Pearls To Pigs said 6 months ago
lolwut. i didn’t bother reading the review because its super late to review that album, thus i believe the writer is a tool. either way, the new paramore album rules.
Terror said 6 months ago
are these guys serious?
sounds like a big ole joke to mee
drewB said 6 months ago
+1 Amen Jimmy!
'very unique' is a good one too. You can’t be VERY unique. You’re just unique.
Randomentity said 6 months ago
it’s not really a review, it’s about one song.
anywho, it’s a tirade by a gaming nerd. one of the most prolific and listened to gaming nerds in the community, but still a nerd.
and tycho’s musical taste pretty much sucks.
that being said, i really enjoy like, 3 songs on that album. crushcrushcrush being one of them.
blueskies said 6 months ago
he doesn’t like paramore. he’s voicing an opinion on his own website, which happens to have a massive userbase. whether or not you agree with him is irrelevant. why, oh why, must people get so defensive when someone doesn’t like a band, and says so?
the internet is serious business.
Ameeee said 6 months ago
The only thing I know about Paramore is this
http://emptees.com/tees/1292-paramore-letters
and that’s all I need to know!
Ameeee said 6 months ago
Oh that was a compliment btw!
Super Gnarly! said 6 months ago
I love Paramore AND Rock Band.
Sue me.
jimmyheartcore said 6 months ago
The same can be said for our opinions, and whether or not you agree with us.
Also, post something relevant before you run around this site calling anyone irrelevant.
Super Gnarly! said 6 months ago
One of my ALL time fav. shirts.
Your off the wall Jimmy!