back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some bakery and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
hideouscarwreck said: back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some store and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
you should do something epic like that.
That's amazing. Something ridiculous like that could be kinda rad, but this dude lives like a 3+ hour drive from here, and it's not like I wanna STALK him or anything. Maybe I could find out where his office is and hire a skywriter to write YOU'RE A DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK right outside his window? Do people still do that?
Or maybe like a little biplane with a big banner behind it that says SUCK MY BALLS and then another biplane right behind it that says ASSHOLE.
jimiyo said: Whack. Sucks that you cant post his name, cause even though it would promote hate traffic... it would be traffic regardless.
Although shame has a tendency to help spur the situation, if you want to be cold like that.
Yeah it's not like I want people to take a shit on him or anything - that's for me to do. I just really wanted to vent and get some E-HUGZ. It's not even that big a deal - it's just annoying, you know?
jimiyo said: (I was hoping like you had a dick hangin out my open fly at some family function story based on the title.)
Okay, I have a good one. This was like a very formative experience. I was chillin' one day with my mom - I must've been like 13 or so, and she made some remark about how money is the root of all evil or something, and my dad, who was walking by in his underpants, goes "OH YOU MEAN THIS ROOT?" and PULLS HIS DICK OUT and laughs maniacally.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am who I am today. THANKS DAD.
hideouscarwreck said: back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some bakery and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
you should do something epic like that.
my dad owns a bakery and coffee house and makes cock cakes all the time
i actually call him sometimes in weird voices asking to order one and if i can model for it
hideouscarwreck said: back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some bakery and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
you should do something epic like that.
my dad owns a bakery and coffee house and makes cock cakes all the time
i actually call him sometimes in weird voices asking to order one and if i can model for it
hideouscarwreck said: back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some bakery and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
you should do something epic like that.
If I got a penis cake I would just wonder why someone got me a penis cake. I would still eat it to. It is shaped like a penis but it also is a delicious cake. You can't just throw it out.
jimiyo said: Whack. Sucks that you cant post his name, cause even though it would promote hate traffic... it would be traffic regardless.
Although shame has a tendency to help spur the situation, if you want to be cold like that.
Yeah it's not like I want people to take a shit on him or anything - that's for me to do. I just really wanted to vent and get some E-HUGZ.
word. i love you as a human, and i respect what you do because you are persistent, and honorable unlike the hommie with the webcomics, and thats why you will succeed more than aforementioned hommie with the webcomics. isnt it awesome though, that you at your whim, could send him an army of haters to fill his email box.
man I am gonna make a SICK penis cake for somebody's birthday this year. I have friends who are legit bakers and can draw all kindsa stuff with decorative frosting, so you know that shit is gonna be ABSURDLY INTRICATE.
thanks for the love, guys! (and squishy kittens, HOLLLAAAA)
If I got a penis cake I would just wonder why someone got me a penis cake. I would still eat it to. It is shaped like a penis but it also is a delicious cake. You can't just throw it out.
well then i think i will have to send you a penis cake for your birthday.
seibei said: man I am gonna make a SICK penis cake for somebody's birthday this year. I have friends who are legit bakers and can draw all kindsa stuff with decorative frosting, so you know that shit is gonna be ABSURDLY INTRICATE.
thanks for the love, guys! (and squishy kittens, HOLLLAAAA)
hideouscarwreck said: back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some bakery and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
you should do something epic like that.
my dad owns a bakery and coffee house and makes cock cakes all the time
i actually call him sometimes in weird voices asking to order one and if i can model for it
it's settled. Kruse, when's your birthday? EMPTEES PENIS CAKE PARTY WOOOOOO. How rad would that be if different emptees kids made penis cakes?
Also, I was worried that the "pics or it didn't happen" line was about my story I told up there where I was 13 and my dad pulled his dick out for a joke.
hideouscarwreck said: back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some bakery and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
you should do something epic like that.
my dad owns a bakery and coffee house and makes cock cakes all the time
i actually call him sometimes in weird voices asking to order one and if i can model for it
seibei said: it's settled. Kruse, when's your birthday? EMPTEES PENIS CAKE PARTY WOOOOOO. How rad would that be if different emptees kids made penis cakes?
Also, I was worried that the "pics or it didn't happen" line was about my story I told up there where I was 13 and my dad pulled his dick out for a joke.
Seriously, FUCK that dude. He was a dick to me at a convention, too. I think his head is too far up his ass from being popular on the internet. So many other webcomic people are way nicer than him. His t-shirt company is kind of lame, to boot. A huge part of the shirts' original popularity definitely came from being associated with his comic.
Penis cakes are only amazing if ther are standing straight up, possibly arched some. None of thise side view bullshit. I want 3 dimension of veiny greatness covered in icing.
Also, that guy is a piece of crap. I'll kick him in the face if you want Seibei.
my dad's bakery is really badass...like if you've ever watched ace of cakes on the food network..he makes better cakes than that
he has made the 3d bettycocker cake before
seibei said: it's settled. Kruse, when's your birthday? EMPTEES PENIS CAKE PARTY WOOOOOO. How rad would that be if different emptees kids made penis cakes?
Also, I was worried that the "pics or it didn't happen" line was about my story I told up there where I was 13 and my dad pulled his dick out for a joke.
You will have to wait a while. My birthday is January 11th.
seibei said: it's settled. Kruse, when's your birthday? EMPTEES PENIS CAKE PARTY WOOOOOO. How rad would that be if different emptees kids made penis cakes?
Also, I was worried that the "pics or it didn't happen" line was about my story I told up there where I was 13 and my dad pulled his dick out for a joke.
You will have to wait a while. My birthday is January 11th.
maybe we can bump it up to fourth of july or something.
another awkward annoying situation, i ordered 2 shirts from someone on this website about three weeks ago, earlier this week i received one of the shirts, and now he is not responding to my emails, id really like the second shirt, especially because the shirt i received wasnt even for me, it was for a friend. wheres my shirt!? and i hope you read this, im pissed, email me back, hippiefruit[at]gmail.com
Nate said: Please tell me its not XKCD. I love that comic too much for him to be a dick...
It wasn't!
P.S. David and I already talked about this. But yeah, Randall Monroe and Ryan North and Jeffrey Rowland are nice. Jeph Jacques is also nice, but... discombobulated sometimes? Joe Mathlete is super-nice; he's not a webcomicer, though.
I know what it's like to be busy, but after four months of you not responding to my e-mails, and blowing me off at MoCCA, your lack of contact seems too deliberate. It seems like now that you've gotten everything you need from me, you're reneging on our deal and can't give me the simple write-up you promised.
It was never a big deal to begin with, and I'm always willing to give out advice, but I spent a pretty good amount of time showing you semi-restricted documents and laying everything out for you, so this cold shoulder treatment is pretty weak. I never wanted to force you into some half-hearted plug or anything; this is something you seemed more than happy to do.
Ray Frenden said: I say we find him, pack him into a nap sack, load him into a cannon pointed at a tangled mess of barbed wire that hovers above a tank of AIDs tainted blood, fire his ass out of the canon, let him fall into the vat of blood, open the secret trap door in the tank which looses a frenzied shark, wait until at least two limbs are missing, relocate him to a hyperbolic chamber, and recreate death in a vacuum.
If a web log is called a blog, why isn't a web comic called a bomic. The death of Carlin has got me thinking how silly words are and smoking bushels. oh and one for thing. Fuck that guy and stupid Bomic.
wow ray... your hard core!!! i hope it was all a big misunderstanding and the dude comes through for you and offers a big apology. I liked your letter though. direct and to the point. If that doesn't work, try the cannon.
Today at work I realized that I am kind of a jerk since I am also behind on e-mails and sending stuff to friends most of the time. Still, not this behind, and not this much of a jerk.
Anyway, please don't feel the need to cuss him out for my sake or anything (that tends to make me feel like an asshole). All I wanted was for you guys to say "man fuck that dude" - descriptions of gory AIDS-Shark-Cannon death and the like are just icing on the cake. The cake that's shaped like a penis. I feel like we're all better friends for it.
So, thanks so much, everyone - my heart has grown three sizes in all. Sadly, I am mega-ill from a dubious sandwich I ate earlier, so I'm gonna take a nap and try to get better. I'll let you know if and when homeboy responds.
51 Comments
Truman325i said 2 months ago
That sucks, can never trust a cartoonist, especially Stan lee that G/f stealing mother fucker
Jon Kruse said 2 months ago
Fuck that dude!!!
sht! said 2 months ago
seriously, fuck that guy!
hideouscarwreck said 2 months ago
back when my mom was like in her twenties or something - there was this lady who was her partner at work - was a huge dramatic bitch and did some mean things to my mom, i don't know what. anyway so my mom basically got fed up one day. she went to some bakery and got a humongous penis-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and set it on the lady's desk when she wasn't in her office. that shut the lady up.
you should do something epic like that.
LitoQ said 2 months ago
Fuck that dude!
skullface said 2 months ago
man fuck that dude!
seibei said 2 months ago
That's amazing. Something ridiculous like that could be kinda rad, but this dude lives like a 3+ hour drive from here, and it's not like I wanna STALK him or anything. Maybe I could find out where his office is and hire a skywriter to write YOU'RE A DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK right outside his window? Do people still do that?
Or maybe like a little biplane with a big banner behind it that says SUCK MY BALLS and then another biplane right behind it that says ASSHOLE.
seibei said 2 months ago
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST SERIOUSLY
jimiyo said 2 months ago
Whack. Sucks that you cant post his name, cause even though it would promote hate traffic... it would be traffic regardless.
Although shame has a tendency to help spur the situation, if you want to be cold like that.
(I was hoping like you had a dick hangin out my open fly at some family function story based on the title.)
seibei said 2 months ago
Yeah it's not like I want people to take a shit on him or anything - that's for me to do. I just really wanted to vent and get some E-HUGZ. It's not even that big a deal - it's just annoying, you know?
Okay, I have a good one. This was like a very formative experience. I was chillin' one day with my mom - I must've been like 13 or so, and she made some remark about how money is the root of all evil or something, and my dad, who was walking by in his underpants, goes "OH YOU MEAN THIS ROOT?" and PULLS HIS DICK OUT and laughs maniacally.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am who I am today. THANKS DAD.
nate gonz said 2 months ago
my dad owns a bakery and coffee house and makes cock cakes all the time
i actually call him sometimes in weird voices asking to order one and if i can model for it
god i'm a creep.
hideouscarwreck said 2 months ago
i think i actually am getting an e-crush on you
Jon Kruse said 2 months ago
If I got a penis cake I would just wonder why someone got me a penis cake. I would still eat it to. It is shaped like a penis but it also is a delicious cake. You can't just throw it out.
jimiyo said 2 months ago
word. i love you as a human, and i respect what you do because you are persistent, and honorable unlike the hommie with the webcomics, and thats why you will succeed more than aforementioned hommie with the webcomics. isnt it awesome though, that you at your whim, could send him an army of haters to fill his email box.
skull with hair said 2 months ago
uh huh huh, you said..."web comic"
seibei said 2 months ago
man I am gonna make a SICK penis cake for somebody's birthday this year. I have friends who are legit bakers and can draw all kindsa stuff with decorative frosting, so you know that shit is gonna be ABSURDLY INTRICATE.
thanks for the love, guys! (and squishy kittens, HOLLLAAAA)
basil said 2 months ago
Nate said 2 months ago
Fuck. That. Dude.
hideouscarwreck said 2 months ago
well then i think i will have to send you a penis cake for your birthday.
remember ... pics or it didn't happen!
skull with hair said 2 months ago
GROSS!!! you phone-fuck your dad!!!!
seibei said 2 months ago
it's settled. Kruse, when's your birthday? EMPTEES PENIS CAKE PARTY WOOOOOO. How rad would that be if different emptees kids made penis cakes?
Also, I was worried that the "pics or it didn't happen" line was about my story I told up there where I was 13 and my dad pulled his dick out for a joke.
nate gonz said 2 months ago
you could put it that way
but he just has the same sense of humor as me
dsprad said 2 months ago
people are dicks. there will always be someone like that around. FUCK THAT DUDE!
skullface said 2 months ago
I'LL BAKE ONE
...pics or it didn't happen
Joe said 2 months ago
Seriously, FUCK that dude. He was a dick to me at a convention, too. I think his head is too far up his ass from being popular on the internet. So many other webcomic people are way nicer than him. His t-shirt company is kind of lame, to boot. A huge part of the shirts' original popularity definitely came from being associated with his comic.
hideouscarwreck said 2 months ago
please expose this web comic guy. i wanna see what he's up to. or give us his email so we can spam him.
heavyprints said 2 months ago
Penis cakes are only amazing if ther are standing straight up, possibly arched some. None of thise side view bullshit. I want 3 dimension of veiny greatness covered in icing.
Also, that guy is a piece of crap. I'll kick him in the face if you want Seibei.
nate gonz said 2 months ago
my dad's bakery is really badass...like if you've ever watched ace of cakes on the food network..he makes better cakes than that
he has made the 3d bettycocker cake before
heavyprints said 2 months ago
Your dad is badass.
hideouscarwreck said 2 months ago
i like to think my mom is pretty badass. how many women do you know who would put a pink penis cake on someone's desk?
Jon Kruse said 2 months ago
You will have to wait a while. My birthday is January 11th.
hideouscarwreck said 2 months ago
maybe we can bump it up to fourth of july or something.
andrE w. said 2 months ago
another awkward annoying situation, i ordered 2 shirts from someone on this website about three weeks ago, earlier this week i received one of the shirts, and now he is not responding to my emails, id really like the second shirt, especially because the shirt i received wasnt even for me, it was for a friend. wheres my shirt!? and i hope you read this, im pissed, email me back, hippiefruit[at]gmail.com
RikkiB said 2 months ago
Fuck him right in the ass :)
So who was it then... give us a hint ;)
Davee Bee said 2 months ago
Must have hint
Nate said 2 months ago
Please tell me its not XKCD. I love that comic too much for him to be a dick...
Matt Rupp said 2 months ago
Don't get too worked up over it.
He has a small dick and doesn't get laid.
AndrewOliv said 2 months ago
I thrive off awkward. make great stories :)
Joe said 2 months ago
It wasn't!
P.S. David and I already talked about this. But yeah, Randall Monroe and Ryan North and Jeffrey Rowland are nice. Jeph Jacques is also nice, but... discombobulated sometimes? Joe Mathlete is super-nice; he's not a webcomicer, though.
seibei said 2 months ago
Okay, he's got one last shot:
Hi _______,
I know what it's like to be busy, but after four months of you not responding to my e-mails, and blowing me off at MoCCA, your lack of contact seems too deliberate. It seems like now that you've gotten everything you need from me, you're reneging on our deal and can't give me the simple write-up you promised.
It was never a big deal to begin with, and I'm always willing to give out advice, but I spent a pretty good amount of time showing you semi-restricted documents and laying everything out for you, so this cold shoulder treatment is pretty weak. I never wanted to force you into some half-hearted plug or anything; this is something you seemed more than happy to do.
Anyway, whatever, boss.
David
SEIBEI
So, maybe he'll respond.
justinryan said 2 months ago
Haha I'm glad you through "boss" in there.
Robmcbride said 2 months ago
Send him a dildo in the post and tell him he's being as much of a pain in the ass as the dildo would be.
Stanley said 2 months ago
Just be picky next time when it come to business help to others
jaynajaynajayna said 2 months ago
I don't want to spam him I just want to know who it is : (
My grandma use to make elephant cakes with grey frosting and use tootsie rolls/those caramel things to make it pooping
quixotic said 2 months ago
I can tell you it's one of the more popular web comics. If you do a little reading back on David's blog you'd be able to find out pretty easily.
Derisory Designs said 2 months ago
Phew! Glad i don't read that web comic. I'd hate to have to give it up cause the creator was a douche.
LitoQ said 2 months ago
wow dude, that gave me the chills
quakerninja said 2 months ago
If a web log is called a blog, why isn't a web comic called a bomic. The death of Carlin has got me thinking how silly words are and smoking bushels. oh and one for thing. Fuck that guy and stupid Bomic.
j_quigly said 2 months ago
wow ray... your hard core!!! i hope it was all a big misunderstanding and the dude comes through for you and offers a big apology. I liked your letter though. direct and to the point. If that doesn't work, try the cannon.
Joe said 2 months ago
Nice letter, hope he responds!
seibei said 2 months ago
Today at work I realized that I am kind of a jerk since I am also behind on e-mails and sending stuff to friends most of the time. Still, not this behind, and not this much of a jerk.
Anyway, please don't feel the need to cuss him out for my sake or anything (that tends to make me feel like an asshole). All I wanted was for you guys to say "man fuck that dude" - descriptions of gory AIDS-Shark-Cannon death and the like are just icing on the cake. The cake that's shaped like a penis. I feel like we're all better friends for it.
So, thanks so much, everyone - my heart has grown three sizes in all. Sadly, I am mega-ill from a dubious sandwich I ate earlier, so I'm gonna take a nap and try to get better. I'll let you know if and when homeboy responds.
xoxox