Review: Volcano Taco

So you see something like this on TV and you think WOW, that is fucking gross. Then a few days go by, you find yourself staring a the drive thru menu and this time you think "89 cents? fuck it!". Thats the only way one can justify eating food that looks like this.

As you might expect this thing is nasty, but you’d at least assume that it is somewhat spicy. hell no its not. i did a side by side comparison and found that the plain old taco bell fire sauce is higher on the heat scale than this bright red piece of crunchy diarrhea.

Taco Bell is not interested in making spicy foods. If they didn’t make a taco, that is named after the hottest thing on earth and is the color of caution, even the slightest bit hot then they will NEVER produce anything to satiate the masses need for heat.

don’t waste your time.

1. 

   DrewGliever said 2 months ago

   hahahha.

   I love how you take the time out of your night to write a lengthy thread about how dissatisfied you were with your 89 cent taco.

2. 

   quakerninja said 2 months ago

   pink taco, ha ha ha ha ha (gasp) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

3. 

   ryanmiller said 2 months ago

   fuck... now i’m going to taco bell

4. 

   seibei said 2 months ago

   thanks dude - I have been tempted to try this.

   steak fajita melt wrap rules my life.

5. 

   scapyyy said 2 months ago

   hahaha wow! i just had one of these today and was talking about it to my friends. cause we are taco bell fiends, and have it almost every day on the way home from school.

   but yes i agree, theyre wasnt enough spicy to live up to the Volcano theme.

6. 

   Matt Rupp said 2 months ago

   It doesnt even look remotely appetizing.
   I would rather not pay 89 cents to have the shits!

7. 

   Joey said 2 months ago

   i was seriously way stoked to try this. this is like finding out there is no santa.

8. 

   Lazyeye said 2 months ago

   they made it all red and shit.. so it looks hot as fuck! those devils.

9. 

   ChristianTW said 2 months ago

   Crunch Wrap Supreme FTW!!!

10. 

    jordanandree said 2 months ago

    ChristianTW said: Crunch Wrap Supreme FTW!!!

    +1

11. 

    Randomentity said 2 months ago

    steak grilled stuffed burritoooooo
    That looks like solid pepto!

12. 

    Cole said 2 months ago

    dude. i love it. i ate 4 today. its totally worth 89 cents.
    plus now you can ask for volcano sauce on any shit you want. how bomb ass is that.

13. 

    Joey said 2 months ago

    cheesy bean and rice burrito with potatoes...win

14. 

    Kolby said 2 months ago

    spicy chicken crunch wrap - tomatoes - sour cream ftw

15. 

    skull with hair said 2 months ago

    Cole said: dude. i love it. i ate 4 today. its totally worth 89 cents. plus now you can ask for volcano sauce on any shit you want. how bomb ass is that.

    that would be rad if it were hot at all because everyone loves options.

    but for real, if i order something called a "Volcano Taco" from a restaurant called "Taco Bell" i expect nothing short of an anal-holocaust and i haven’t even farted yet.

16. 

    derekdeal said 2 months ago

    Joey said: cheesy bean and rice burrito with potatoes...win

    best thing ever

17. 

    a killer wombat said 2 months ago

    cheesy gordita crunch

18. 

    Cole said 2 months ago

    skull with hair said:

    Cole said: dude. i love it. i ate 4 today. its totally worth 89 cents. plus now you can ask for volcano sauce on any shit you want. how bomb ass is that.

    that would be rad if it were hot at all because everyone loves options.

    but for real, if i order something called a "Volcano Taco" from a restaurant called "Taco Bell" i expect nothing short of an anal-holocaust and i haven’t even farted yet.

    dude dont you remember the volcano burrito they had out years ago!? that shit wasn’t hot at all. it was right before they had shaq advertising the original double decker taco

19. 

    mbradyclark said 2 months ago

    
    SWH you might want to add a little of this into the mix and the volcano might be closer to erupting.

20. 

    skull with hair said 2 months ago

    mbradyclark said: SWH you might want to add a little of this into the mix and the volcano might be closer to erupting.

    this looks amazing. can you back its claims?

21. 

    Kolby said 2 months ago

    The HOTTEST hot sauce you WILL EVER HAVE

    http://crazymotherpuckers.com/ProductDetails.asp?dbProductID=8

22. 

    scapyyy said 2 months ago

    Cole said: dude. i love it. i ate 4 today. its totally worth 89 cents. plus now you can ask for volcano sauce on any shit you want. how bomb ass is that.

    wow. cause the sauce wasnt bad tasting it just like SWH said, not an anal shitting halocaust. maybe i think i might start throwing this shit in my cheesy double beef borritos.

    good call dude.

23. 

    godmachine said 2 months ago

    my mrs works in a piercing store and this chav girl (skank) walked in and asked 'how much to get my taco pierced'. Funniest thing ever.

    there is a jalapeno pizza I used to get that was called 'The After Burner'. it did.

24. 

    Ameeee said 2 months ago

    godmachine said: my mrs works in a piercing store and this chav girl (skank) walked in and asked 'how much to get my taco pierced'. Funniest thing ever.

    Hahaha..my male friends say that as well...there’s so many gross accompaniments... sour cream anyone?

25. 

    Robmcbride said 2 months ago

    I so wish we had Taco Bell in England so I could complain about how shitty this taco is :(

    Also, if you want hot chilli’s, check out this home grown beast.

    http://www.dorsetnaga.com/

26. 

    jaynajaynajayna said 2 months ago

    so I am actually starting a food blog with a friend of mine, (like I will write about fancy 5 course dinners and also when I have a particularly good slushy at 7/11) would you like to contribute this little gem to it

    I would be honored

27. 

    Randomentity said 2 months ago

    Kolby said: The HOTTEST hot sauce you WILL EVER HAVE http://crazymotherpuckers.com/ProductDetails.asp?dbProductID=8

    Lies. Look up Devils Blood. If you can see a drop of it it’s too much.

28. 

    mbradyclark said 2 months ago

    skull with hair said:

    mbradyclark said: SWH you might want to add a little of this into the mix and the volcano might be closer to erupting.

    this looks amazing. can you back its claims?

    eh. prob. crap but thought the label was appropriate.
    chalula is my favorite for everything.

29. 

    skull with hair said 2 months ago

    jaynajaynajayna said: so I am actually starting a food blog with a friend of mine, (like I will write about fancy 5 course dinners and also when I have a particularly good slushy at 7/11) would you like to contribute this little gem to it I would be honored

    yeah go for it. and if i eat anything else this raunchy i’ll keep you posted.

30. 

    molasses4masses said 2 months ago

    Thanks for this. I thought about getting it, but didn’t want to end up wasting money.

    What happened to the Queso Crunchwrap? I was in love with that thing.

31. 

    horsebites said 2 months ago

    Thanx because I totally wanted to try one but now I won’t.
    Hot food is my jam! Ask Joey, he knows. Everytime we go to Pei Wei I dump that whole chili sauce crap on my pad thai! MMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

32. 

    Joey said 2 months ago

    that chili sauce shit is crazy hot too. you’re a machine.

33. 

    RustyEight said 2 months ago

    I’m going to get a Diablo burrito for lunch from a local burrito place.... oh man... that with their green hot sauce... perfection.

34. 

    Joey said 2 months ago

    every time i see this thread, i want taco bell

35. 

    horsebites said 2 months ago

    Joey said: every time i see this thread, i want taco bell

    No! Garibaldis!

36. 

    RustyEight said 2 months ago

    Randomentity said:

    Kolby said: The HOTTEST hot sauce you WILL EVER HAVE http://crazymotherpuckers.com/ProductDetails.asp?dbProductID=8

    Lies. Look up Devils Blood. If you can see a drop of it it’s too much.

    You both lie, Blair’s 16 Million Reserve. It literally can’t get any hotter. Its not so much of a sauce, but rather Pure Capsaisan Crystal... which is what makes peppers hot in the first place.

    http://www.hotsauceblog.com/hotsaucearchives/blairs-16-million-product-review/

37. 

    illdthedj said 2 months ago

    i eat fast food about once every two weeks, mainly because ill be stoned and lazy and have no food at the apartment.

    on this day, i either go for in n' out burger, animal style, with animal style fries (omg NOM) OR taco bell.

    yesterday was this day! and i tried this valcano taco.

    the red shell def. threw me off, and immediately thought of "pink taco" and loled to myself, as well as the tv commercial for a tortilla company that never aired featuring the underage usa women’s gymnastics olympian, Shawn Johnson, where she says "it makes my taco pop!".

    anywho, my review:

    they arnt spicy in the least bit. i saw the commercial for them and the guy steals the other dood’s taco, and the guy is like "who ate my taco?" and the theif’s mouth is on fire...and i was like, wtf?? how could anyone find this in the least bit spicy. i love how they make EVERYTHING for the lowest common denominator....its like they’re having a meeting at taco bell and they’re like "HEY! lets make a spicy taco, call it the VALCANO taco!....but wait, we cant have it actually be spicy at all, or else we’re gonna lose the under 5 and the over 60 demographic! thats 5.67983 percent profit we’re losing...blablabla"

    anywho, despite it not being spicy whatsoever, i am partial to processed, nacho cheese, of which this taco is filled. basically, its a normal taco with a red shell and nacho cheese inside.

    considering i like both the normal taco, and nacho cheese, and the red taco shell is good for a joke, i give this taco a fast food rating of 8 out of 10

    (fyi a fast food rating of 8 out of 10 converts to a normal food rating of 3 out of 10)

38. 

    Joey said 2 months ago

    horsebites said:

    Joey said: every time i see this thread, i want taco bell

    No! Garibaldis!

    what the f is that place?! you are always saying that. it sounds italian

39. 

    skull with hair said 2 months ago

    Joey said:

    horsebites said:

    Joey said: every time i see this thread, i want taco bell

    No! Garibaldis!

    what the f is that place?! you are always saying that. it sounds italian

    its on the corner of 436 and 50. i’ve never been but i want to go!!!

    Galibardiz!! FTW!!!! (fuck the world)

40. 

    Joey said 2 months ago

    skull with hair said:

    Joey said:

    horsebites said:

    Joey said: every time i see this thread, i want taco bell

    No! Garibaldis!

    what the f is that place?! you are always saying that. it sounds italian

    its on the corner of 436 and 50. i’ve never been but i want to go!!!

    Galibardiz!! FTW!!!! (fuck the world)

    so apparently we all need to do that at some point

41. 

    molasses4masses said 2 months ago

    illdthedj said: i eat fast food about once every two weeks, mainly because ill be stoned and lazy and have no food at the apartment. on this day, i either go for in n' out burger, animal style, with animal style fries (omg NOM) OR taco bell. yesterday was this day! and i tried this valcano taco. the red shell def. threw me off, and immediately thought of "pink taco" and loled to myself, as well as the tv commercial for a tortilla company that never aired featuring the underage usa women’s gymnastics olympian, Shawn Johnson, where she says "it makes my taco pop!". anywho, my review: they arnt spicy in the least bit. i saw the commercial for them and the guy steals the other dood’s taco, and the guy is like "who ate my taco?" and the theif’s mouth is on fire...and i was like, wtf?? how could anyone find this in the least bit spicy. i love how they make EVERYTHING for the lowest common denominator....its like they’re having a meeting at taco bell and they’re like "HEY! lets make a spicy taco, call it the VALCANO taco!....but wait, we cant have it actually be spicy at all, or else we’re gonna lose the under 5 and the over 60 demographic! thats 5.67983 percent profit we’re losing...blablabla" anywho, despite it not being spicy whatsoever, i am partial to processed, nacho cheese, of which this taco is filled. basically, its a normal taco with a red shell and nacho cheese inside. considering i like both the normal taco, and nacho cheese, and the red taco shell is good for a joke, i give this taco a fast food rating of 8 out of 10 (fyi a fast food rating of 8 out of 10 converts to a normal food rating of 3 out of 10)

    Why did you rewrite what SWH said?

    skull with hair said: FTW!!!! (fuck the world)

    I seriously thought it meant that for the longest time. I couldn’t believe how often people said it either. I kept thinking, "Holy crap people really hate the world." Little did I know....

42. 

    illdthedj said 2 months ago

    um, i didnt. why are you trying to call me out? i guess i said "it isnt spicy at all" in my own words, therefore agreeing with swh’s sentiment...but i also included a helpful fast food rating!

43. 

    ryanmiller said 2 months ago

    horsebites said:

    Joey said: every time i see this thread, i want taco bell

    No! Garibaldis!

    i’m eating there when i’m in orlando this weekend

44. 

    ChristianTW said 2 months ago

    The Volcano sauce makes my taco pop!

45. 

    skull with hair said 2 months ago

    ChristianTW said: The Volcano sauce makes my taco pop!

    thats fucking insane! i cannot believe someone let her say that.

46. 

    sht! said 2 months ago

    ChristianTW said: The Volcano sauce makes my taco pop!

    BEAT THAT BRO!!!

47. 

    ChristianTW said 2 months ago

    skull with hair said:

    ChristianTW said: The Volcano sauce makes my taco pop!

    thats fucking insane! i cannot believe someone let her say that.

    epic parenting fail.

48. 

    Birdie3431 said 2 months ago

    yea i pulled up and asked em how they made them and they said with red food dye...

49. 

    molasses4masses said 2 months ago

    illdthedj said: um, i didnt. why are you trying to call me out? i guess i said "it isnt spicy at all" in my own words, therefore agreeing with swh’s sentiment...but i also included a helpful fast food rating!

    Not trying to call you out, but you made almost the exact same comment that SWH did. That’s all.

50. 

    Joey said 2 months ago

    just got back from eating it. unimpressed.

51. 

    Kevin Doom said 2 months ago

    It just tasted like nacho sauce mixed with mild sauce. Lame city.

52. 

    MykeCatastrophic said 2 months ago

    Joey said: this is like finding out there is no santa.

53. 

    illdthedj said 2 months ago

    molasses4masses said:

    illdthedj said: um, i didnt. why are you trying to call me out? i guess i said "it isnt spicy at all" in my own words, therefore agreeing with swh’s sentiment...but i also included a helpful fast food rating!

    Not trying to call you out, but you made almost the exact same comment that SWH did. That’s all.

    lol it wasnt at all the same, other than the fact i agreed it wasnt spicy. but i also said a bunch of other stuff that was different, like i also added it reminded me of shawn johnson’s "makes my taco pop!" commercial, of which then the video was posted.

    look buddy no need to manticore every two things that are somewhat similar, especially posts about tacos! ;p

54. 

    Cole said 2 months ago

    

55. 

    skull with hair said 2 months ago

    thats just a regular taco and you photoshopped it!!!

    and if you keep eating them like that you’re gonna get TNS

56. 

    chrisrushing said 2 months ago

    hilarious...

    i always got one of 2 combos...

    1. grilled stuft burrito with chicken + meximelt
    or
    2. mexican pizza + meximelt

    and all of it with fire sauce.

57. 

    mitchbones said 2 months ago

    FUCK THE WORLD

58. 

    Killer Napkins said 2 months ago

    crazy mother puckers aint hot ... my uncle makes this hot sauce ... he uses some crazy ass shit in it.. its like eating death

59. 

    jimmyheartcore said 2 months ago

    When asked "How many should we get", Jelly responds "How many do they have?"

    We are going to be ordering probably 20.

60. 

    MykeCatastrophic said 2 months ago

    jimmyheartcore said: When asked "How many should we get", Jelly responds "How many do they have?" We are going to be ordering probably 20.

    Hahahaha

61. 

    Cole said 2 months ago

    my total for the day is now 9 volcano tacos.

62. 

    jimmyheartcore said 2 months ago

    Can we do a running tally?

    I’m going to put it on my profile, that way you can track how much fatter I am getting.

63. 

    skull with hair said 2 months ago

    you guys make my taco pop.

64. 

    mitchbones said 2 months ago

    "Anal Holocaust"

    BEST BAND NAME EVER

65. 

    Robmcbride said 2 months ago

    I went to a local mexican. Bought Taco’s.. They weren’t very nice from there.. The hot sauce sucked balls as well.

    Now I’m annoyed.

66. 

    edgillustrator said 2 months ago

    taco bell never made it in australia unfortunately :[

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